facebook

I have a time to do my work such as the knitting projects that I need to get done, there again just being a "procrastinator". Then soon I will be starting school again, that will be great being the way that I am, wonderful. I can't be this a way I'll never get anything done, but on lighter note, lately I have been on facebook. Conversing and talking to old friends, of course relatives too, you gotta love them. It has been real nice to get in touch with people, but then there is the chatter box where you can actually have conversations over the Internet.

Now at first I thought that was fantastic and fun, but then the more and more I got to be on the darn thing, it seemed all the time. Me! I am not much of a relater, I like my friends don't get me wrong, there are certain ones that immediately jumps on the chatter box often too much and it makes me want to throw my computer out the window. Each time I get on the account I have to check if there is someone I know that has this problem of wanting to chatter on for along time. And I know that I have a choice to respond back or not, then again the guilt? I can't get past the guilt and I know I can be a bitch or a meany, preferably a meany would be better.

I had to explain to one fella that I am a loner and I like my quiet time where no one bothers me and I can enjoy looking at my friends photos to put comments up on their wall. I don't mind the comments we leave to one another, that doesn't bother me. It's just that I have kids that I have to tend to and having conversations on the chatter thing makes it tough to concentrate on my kiddos. They need my attention, they need me more than those that I haven't seen or even talked to for a long time.

Now the friends that hardly ever go on the chatter box is certainly a friend of mine, I have facebook buddies that are on line and they don't bother me. It seems that they know we need our space or they just don't care which is fine with me cause that tells me that we are on the same page. So I hate to bother those that are on line, because you never know they might feel the same way as I do.

I, myself am a loner been that way for awhile and I do not mind it at all, I do sometimes miss the comforts of a man in my life, at times I really do miss it. But I am content for now to having my kids and my self, weird ya think? I don't, it's the way things go with certain people, I may change my mind you never know, situations in my life may change to a life that requires having a significant other, I do hope that it does happen. I do wish that my life the way I feel will change to having someone so dear that it makes me happy and content.

For fun I thought to check out my astrology just to see what it said about who would be the best match for me. It's weird they got all the different symbols and signs of our birth and blah, blah eventually figured I it out. Anyhow, I looked at mine to see who I would be best compatible with, I read that I am more compatible with Scorpio and goes the same with Cancer, ain't that weird?

I say weird because my daughters dad is a Cancer, my thought was "Oh I guess I screwed that one up, didn't I?" Nothing can be changed on that. But the number one sign that was most compatible, the Scorpio, "the Scorpio" it stated that we were meant to be, warning to not lose one another because we are a keeper, a perfect match. My thoughts was "wow", it worked out for my friends in Moab, they're signs was a perfect match for sure. Both are capricorn and they match prefectly, which you wouldn't think that both signs could work, but they do.

I tell you what they are so happy even in their lowest times, when you look at them looking at each other in love it makes you ill. With me, that is the way I see couples, when they are lovey dovey it just doesn't set well in my tummy, "grose". It's amusing that couples think it funny to say these things to them, so I don't mind say'n it to my friends and family, it's sick!

Making progress

Making the jump in the knitting that I am still working on, it has been a project that seems to take a little longer than I expected. Maybe cause I'm a little under the weather and try'n to see things the way that they are suppose to be seen? I am not quite sure still try'n to figure things out. All I know for now is that we are going to Durango, Colorado for a week to help with the VBS week at Grace Church located in Durango. I am excited to volunteer and do something with the kids. Especially mine, I am always amazed at the things that they do and how much they enjoy the projects that they have scheduled for the evening.

Last night we went to VBS at the Church of Christ of Kayenta and it was delightful, along for the help are people that are from out of town helping with the VBS also fun! They are young people that are fresh and so optimistic in all that they do. I looked into all the fresh young faces that they are and there to serve the Lord in so much to be so kind hearted with everything. They did make it fun and the kids just loved the time with them.

The knitting has been slow for me lately and I apologize for the inconvenience of the whole "what in the world?" I have been lacking in the purpose of the knitting memoirs, but then again maybe not? Yes this is a memoir of things that go on on a day to day bases and it is does along with knitting. I do let you in on the knitting projects that I am doing and so fourth. Just ignore the questions of my intent, at times I don't even know either.

On to the time of my memoirs, yesterday my uncle and his wife, along with his son my cousin brother, came out from Waterflow, NM. They were just being tourists hanging out around the beautiful area of Monument Valley and wanting to head on out to Canyon De Chelly. I had asked if they wanted me to guide them down the Valley and just hang out, and they accepted my cordual way of inviting myself. For me I was glad that I asked because it was the most funnest and absolutely beautiful drive to a place that I see time and time again. You never get tired of seeing the handy work of our God.

The way it starts out is that the other day I received a call from a phone number that was a 505 number, I thought to myself I better call this back. That day I was boiling beans forthe kids and I, a little family like ours and me making a big pot of chili beans? For what reason is this for? In the past actually when I start to make a big meal that I think it is gonna go to waist at that thought it's always for a reason. When I received the call I was ecstatic to hear the voice on the other line, my cousin. My Yazh's (uncle, my son in Navajo) son to be specific one of his sons, so at that moment I had to make at least one good guess at who it could be. Definitely not Lorne . . . . . . . maybe Leotis, but not . . . . . . I know? It is Kirk, Oh man Kirk!

I hadn't seen him since way back in I think it was December or January in the parking lot of Wal-mart with my sister in Farmington, NM. My kids were with us at the time and it was so funny, Payton my son was harp'n on me on wanting to go to the bathroom. At the time he was 4 yrs old, poor boy I was in the moment just talk'n away visiting along with my sister and my son snuck behind my sisters vehicle and urinated in the parking lot where no one could see him. At least for me I noticed a small river of liquid flowing near us. I gasped out loud at it and then chuckled afterwards with apology. My sister didn't find that too amusing but Kirk did point out, "it's okay at least for now that he is just a kid, remember he is going to grow up and be a man. So it is not going to be so cute or amusing anymore, many find that kind of stuff offensive."

I took that into consideration and told my son, "you need to be careful when you want to go to the bathroom. Watch out for yourself especially when you become an older boy and when that time comes you'll have to use the restrooms available nearby." He understood and went on pretend playing while waiting for us. That was the last that I saw of him, until this past week, the time was so fun and sad to see them go.

When he called and told me that they were in town I knew there was something fishy going on, there was a reason I made chili beans today! To top it off making the fry bread to go along with the beans, "YUM", so I told him what I was doing and to come on over to feast. We ended the conversation after that just so they could get settled in to their motel in Kayenta. Soon after that I drove over to the motel to lead them the way to our home, we shook hands and hugged then visited for awhile and off to the feasting we went. I felt bad for my uncle Hansen he was exhausted from getting up early that day and then gett'n on their way, he loved and adored my kids so much as you know one should. So did my lovely aunt Cathrine, they indulged and reveled in the company of the little rats that I have. I proceeded to make the dough for the bread and also setting the table, but then Cathrine offered to help and made the rest of the fry bread for us and it was delicious for us all. Ending the night with full bellies and looking forward to having a good nights rest.

The next morning I got up at 5:30 am in the morning to get ready and full of excitement to having more visiting to do, also guiding them to Monument Valley, UT. A place that my dad derived from and where my dads family still dwell. I waited enjoying my coffee for the morning and gett'n the needed things for the kids and for myself, checking the jeep for how much fuel was in there and also icing down waters and sodas in the ice chest. The time came to go and meet the family at 8 am and head on out, proceeding toward the View where the motel and resturant were. Went through the visitors gate, cause you we are Navajo's, privileged to enter without paying a fee. We drove up toward the Motel and parked in the designated area, got out and walked to the motel restaurant.

I have to tell you if you ever get a chance to go to Monument Valley, UT go to the View to stay or eat it is worth the breathtaking view. That morning, of course it is my first time having breakfast there, they had buffet, good food that was prepped accordingly. We were asked if we wanted a table away from the sun or a table by the window? We chose the one by the window, it was all and everything to see the smiles on all the Happy people there.

Sat down at our table and just visited some more, with coffee and water, the kids to my surprise was on their best behavior than I have seen in a long time. I enjoyed it. We looked out the view of the Monument Valley that was breathtaking and awesome. You can see for almost many miles, to see the Ute Mountain and the mountains of Blanding, Monticello, UT. Then toward the southeast is the Mountains near Teesnospos, AZ. all the Four Corners area, very pretty. We had a very good breakfast that they had in display, fresh scrambled eggs, crispy bacon and sausage, fruit, yogurt, wheat and white bread with a toaster to for your conveiniece. It also displayed even french toast, "YUM".

All was delightful and delicious, we proceeded to the gift shop connecting to the restaurant with arts and crafts that were for the spendy. Beautiful handcrafted sterling silver jewelry, hand crafted pottery with designs that explode with Native American Indian Beauty. They also had John Wayne memorabilia too, of course there is a picture of my nali (grandpa) on the wall participating on a sand painting for a ceremony. Picture was taken in 1958, my cousin and aunt said that it was too bad that he wasn't looking at the camera. I know but a have a similar picture of a shot of his face and working on the same sand painting on the ground.

The time was spent in awe, of all the things that they had inside, we proceeded outside and sat out on the balcony over looking the scenery once again toward the Valley. Taking it all in and enjoying the warm sun and the fresh smell of the desert. We took pictures with the family and the kids, then off we went down the Valley, the roads were rough and terrainial so we went slow. My son sat in the back of their truck that we took and we kept going down the road. stopped and checked out the Three Sisters rock and went up a bit toward the vendors that were selling their beautiful jewelry. There the tourist got their pictures taken sitting a horse over looking the famous Mittens and the Three Sisters. Not sure how much they charged for that but it was fun for them to be where they made the John Wayne Movies. Where the vendors were selling was where John Ford filmed his movies. It's so fun to be out there and imagine the west that they portrayed, the Texas that they made it to be, desolate and the way the west was at their trying times.

It was warm, the sun beating down on us and you could feel the dry climate in your body. Good thing we brought alot of water, it's good to bring water out there even though your not gonna do any major hiking. I find that even when I am just sitting there for a long period of time and under the shade that I get dehydrated. It's brutal out there when you are not use to it, now my family they can endure the long heated days out there and be fine. They are not complaintive of the scorching weather, not like me, but trying to get use to the fact that it is something that you have to train your body to do. With that heat in Monument Valley you can notice it in your mouth, cotton mouth and the bitter taste, when you notice that, get some water fast!

We stopped at the vendors and saw the talents of my people, they are special to endure the heat all day long to display their blessed gift. I saw many jewelry that I wanted and thought later when I am into some money I'm going to take trip there and shop from them. I took over the driving to show them around and took them to scenic view that I remembered my grandma's picture was taken. This photo of her was absolutely gorgeous, she has that look that is unforgettable and gentle. In photos she never looks straight into the camera, only shows her side view of herself, I was told that she really didn't care too much for the camera, but when she did she made that photograph beautiful.


At that spot aunt Cathrine loved the scene of the valley, we headed on down back to the View parking lot. Got ourselves situated and they headed on their way with one of Gods majestic beauty that He bestowed upon us. That day they headed on to their next stop, Canyon De Chelly, now that is one of my favorite places to visit too. All these places are even more beautiful when the rains come in the spring time awesome and worth it. I do hope that this trip they got to take time to see was unforgettable and hope they felt blessed. Iknow that I felt blessed that they were here with my kids and me.

What to do

Hey folks of the knitting world or peeps that live in the world, hopefully having a great day! I am, just yesterday I received my first order that I need to make for a good pal of mine, she is from Meeker, CO. What she ordered will be my first item of creation that she wanted and so I have the creation in my head to make this back pack for her. So I am excited to get it done to see how it turns out then that would be part of the display as well. I have a purse that I was working on, I posted the picture of the progress on my blog, I have yet to finish.

Business has been slow, still I was wanting to go to Durango, CO to spend some quality time with my folks and sister. I miss them, I miss them more when they come to visit and then go again, my heart is heavy laden. They are the greatest folks around that are not selfish and I know my dad he just loves his grand kids to the end. So much that he don't mind going broke for them, the same goes for my sister, she is unlike any sister that I know. They do generate the love that comes with helping and trying to take care of the little rats that I take with me, just kidding they aren't rats. At times they can be, you know my son is starting to grow out of his ratness. He is sorta my rock when it comes to life. I get frustrated at times with trying to take care of my kids and their needs. The bills that need to be paid, just the usual that everyone endures too.

The other day I got mad at God and kept screaming at Him, which at times I do from time to time. One of the question was "do you even love me?" "To try to help me, taking care of my children's needs, are you even there to even hear me!" "You don't love me!" "If you did you would be helping me!" So I carried on and on and my son Payton put his adoring hand on my shoulder and said, "mom don't say those things to God, He does love you, He does care for you and He will help you". He went on to tell me to take deep breaths and calm down, he even showed me how to do it, this little guy is only 5 yrs old and he is more grown up than me. So then I carried on with asking God to forgive me, I even prayed crying again when my son entered the room and held me on the floor and said, "Oh mom you'll be alright and we will be okay, God loves you mom", "Don't cry mom I love you". Now at that moment I felt like the richest mother in the world to be held by your son that is so precious and has such a heart as that.

So that is the reason I call him my rock, I miss him when he has to go to his dads for a visit and I kinda feel empty with out him. I can't imagine that with my daughter too. That is another story that will come to pass later in life, I only pray that my daughter will not be bitter toward me. That she will grow up strong and enlightened daily with our Lord, I know that she will, she will have a truthful heart and a mind of stone to go along with it. She's already stubborn. We fight each other but I try to teach her that what she does is wrong, such as hitting me on the face. That has got to stop and hitting her brother too, that has really got to stop. Day by day she is learning hopefully get better when she is out of her terrible two's./z/zz///z/z/z/Zz, sorry my daughter put her signature on the computer. "She is a cutie" she is definitely the funny one she always makes her brother laugh and tickles him, it is so funny how she does that.

I guess if I were to predict her as a grown up, would be as Audry Hepburn, graceful and funny at the same time. I know that here on the reservation she does turns heads with the Navajo women, they just think that she is just beautiful. I guess it is the light skin she has, beautiful olive skin, lighter than her brother, in Navajo they call her pure white, clear, there is a Navajo word for that but I am not sure how to spell it. It sounds like this "twilly" that is how it sounds as if it were with words. "Twilly girl" is what they call her, also "ligai" meaning white, in Navajo they call her "little white girl". They really don't have much words for Payton except "chi" the grandmothers call him that, it is so cute "my chi", that means grandpa in Navajo.

Yea, they really don't have much to say of me, I am a different kind of sort, I have my own self that God made me to be. Try'n to find my way in this world that we live in, I was thinking of moving to Shiprock, NM closer to my folks and closer to the bigger town. I should'a moved there first, Kayenta is a nice place but I guess I'd feel alot better closer to my family near Durango, CO. But we will see of that is the answer for us all, need income and this around here ain't doing it.

"Sha-a-w"

There is no meaning in that at all, this morning I was putting some poetry entry in my other blog, that is one of the other passion that I have. I have tried to put everything in words cause there is so much in little brain of mine, the last couple of days have been frustrating to me. I have knitting and have my knitting stuff but no business. I really don't want to take it out and sell it around here, cause they won't sell, I hate to sound like a "meany : <". The people around here only spend when it is a nice traditional item or cheap. If I took them out to the sales outside of the reservation then they will sell great cause they appreciate the work and time. Here, when I take out my knit stuff, they look at it as if it were not worth the price at all. It's frustrating for me to sell around here. Then I try to build a website and that is not even going on the ball. What is it that I need to do?

I guess that I just need to just hang in there and wait to see what happens, "yikes" maybe if I wait and wait then all of the sudden. "BOOM", there is going to be many orders coming in? Isn't that the way it works, "be careful for what you wish for". At least that is what comes from the lottery winners and then they get in trouble. You know sometimes I wish that I was a lottery winner, wouldn't that just be something else. I'd probably go bankrupt fast!

So here it is, I'm laying out on the table, I'm a single mother just wait'n on the child support to pay the bills that shelters my daughter and gives her the comforts of home. I'm waiting and waiting, meanwhile the check doesn't come in and I am festering and crying out to the Lord to help put some money in the bank account. I know you all are probably thinking, "then get off your butt and make money". That's the problem with me is that I'm a goof when it comes to making money.

I need some kind of strategy and a plan to go out there and advertise my products, so today I am gonna go out and sell wholesale on jewelry. I hope that will work out perfect, if not that perfect, then I'll settle for good. Then again I'm not sure what to do, I know first thing that I need to call my dad to help me pay for a bill that is late and then we'll be good. So that is the story of the knitters memoir, pretty sad huh? In every thing there has to be a season and a time to go through this depressing stage.

I know my friends and family are making the "buck" they can they have education and a the smarts to do what they can. I did the coal mining thing then moving out here to think that they would hire me in a heart beat, that was a joke, no hire, no acceptance. That was hard to swallow, with all the experience with the time that I had on the coal mine, then they don't even want to give me a try. That is the way the cookie crumbles I guess and now I am struggling to find that something to keep my family afloat it is tough, tough times is no joke.

I know what I want and to get there takes more money, more time and more effort than what I'm dishing out. Hoping that it all gets better and that the way is not too far away, I know the Way, the Truth and the Light, He's there with me. I just need to seek Him more than I do, more intimately. That is the way to success, the key to an abundant life, more peaceful and fulfilling life, I need that. Oh does my spirit and soul need that, and my body, "big time".

So guess what I am going to get down on knees and pray, do what Forrest Gump did and go to Church and praise God. Gett'n "Bubba Gump" started and going big time. Get peace and fulfillment like Leutinent Dan, peace like the rainbow, oh how I long to have that. Just a little extra.

Just let go

You know there are times you need to just let go of thoughts that dread your mind, need to unjam it some how, some way. I found that when you write it paper it seems to ease the pressure off your mind. For instance I am some what of a romantic, I hold a memory of a certain man in my life that I can't seem to get rid of. Especially when I knit or read in my quiet times, mostly the memory and fantasy comes around when I am driving, listening to music. Yes the fantasy part I am working on to not happen too much, when people fantasise too much it becomes a sickness. I don't want to be sick that way.

Much more is when I listen to the music that is so beautiful. Music such as Yanni, wonderful and beautiful music that takes you away, the memories surface and I have to stop myself to thinking of them . This entry is a different kind of story, I guess once in awhile you have to let your passion come through and go on again living life. For myself it is a way to release this, I guess you can say a love that still keeps me spell bound. So for myself it is a healing process, to one day this will go away. To make a way to really let go,that I can or I will go on, really go on.

It starts out this way in my own words, I usually write thoughts on paper and keep it for a rainy day, a day like today. I think I'm gonna reveal myself in a poetic way and see if it helps.

To my dearest one, one that I dream of, you're in my mind, my heart and in my soul. How can I just forget your love, your touch the way you haunt me day and night in my memories?

What can I do? Nothing, so I carry on in life with you in my mind tucked away. When will you surface? Of course everyday to every other day you do, then my mind carries away in the moments when we were together, "oh joy" and "unending rapture". Hopeless is the way I feel, I know we can never be together again, but only in memory can we be.

I can't go on with this life with you in me, in my memories, I need to break away. I cry out to God to take those memories and thoughts of you away, in this I ask daily. For Him to erase the times of passion I still hold dear to my heart, but I am afraid to let go. I am an abandoned ship wandering out at sea, with no captain to take me away, no life to hear cheers as we abound to land, non to hear the life that is so big.

Who am I? I am a prisoner with no pictures of you only in memory, I wonder how you are. But alas none compare to all that I have loved, there is none like you that loves the way you do. The gentleness in your eyes of beautiful blue, your lips, how they taste of warm mint in mine mouth. I keep those in my memory in tack, I am afraid to lose them, to forget, yet they torment me day and night.

You are my little secret treasure I keep in my heart and mind tucked away so no one can see, only does God sees what is in mine heart, mine heart of desire. I think too, that I shall keep you till the one day that I will die. My love keep well, be happy and know that you're my treasure, my undying treasure in mine heart.

More knitting and Shinali

Hey, hows the day after Fourth of July? The grandparents and my little family had a great time together and the fireworks here in Kayenta was wonderful. We had a grilling of delicious short ribs and hot dogs, "yum" the kids and I hung out by the hot coals and roasted marshmallows, it was absolutely picturesque. It was what I wanted between the kids and I the mother, that moment that they enjoyed the simple fun of roasting marshmallows.

The scene that I had seen was walking up to the kids while they were sitting on their lawn chairs just watching the clouds above at late sunset, looking and enjoy'n the breeze. Sitting by the hot coals waiting for me to arrive with the forks to put marshmallows on and start at the fun. What a time in life that I will never forget, at that moment I felt so blessed to be able to spend this time with the kids instead of working triple time at the coal mine.

That was what we did last night and then at about 10 pm we witnessed the big firework display in Kayenta, it was spectacular and eventful with the whole neighborhood just agast and cheering for joy. It ended up that it rained and did it rain, but that didn't stop them firing off the display and I was so happy that we sat by the front door and watched the fireworks. The kids really was not interested in the event but the grandparents and I did, we laughed and cheered along with the crowd. I loved it!

Today the grandparents headed on back to Durango, Colorado that is where home is for them. Mom and Dad live with my sister who is a year younger than me. I also have a li'l brother that lives there with his beautiful wife and daughter, they all missed our mom and dad. I felt so blessed that they stayed with us and I didn't want them to leave. I know that my kids are gonna want them back, especially the li'l girl, my daughter Haiden. She just loves them so much and when she plays she pretends to talk to her grandma or grandpa on the play phone, it's so cute! To say the least we are all worn out from being active and cooking all this week and eating all the time, I swear I gained at least 5 more pounds. I don't why that is when family are around you gain weight? I guess you cook better for family than yourselves, I know that my kids eat better than me they tell me what they want and at times I go ahead make what I have in my little brain for the night. Now I remember, I almost forgot that I mentioned something of my grandpa, as you noticed at the title that I said my shinali that is Navajo for my grandpa on my dads side.


Here goes on the subject of this amazing man I call my shinali or "nali" no one knows when he was born, he has no birth certificate. His name was Billy Yellow, he was a medicine man that knew of the many herbs of the earth that was around our area and used them. Very disciplined at renewing his body through sweat lodges and with teas that cleansed his body. He had regimens that he was faithful to, till the day of his passing.

I didn't know him like my cousins knew him, they have many fond memories of him and also of my grandmother, I regret not knowing them that way. Although I do enjoy listening to the stories that they tell me of him and how wise he was in all that he did, my dad told me of wisdom that came from my grandpa and we are a Christan family that believes in the Bible. He would say this is what grandpa use to tell me and this where the same thing says in the Bible also. I thought that was always encouraging to hear the teachings come from my dad from my "nali". My nali was a man that didn't speak english very much, he was more fluent in Navajo, that too I regret not knowing the language, we did have a language barrier between us and our nali's (grandma and grandpa). But we did have the love connection that I will always remember especially with my grandmother, she loved us regardless of the language barrier.

I remember one time my nali's the grandma and grandpa were heading out one morning from our home in Moab, UT and I was asleep in my room. I heard the commotion in the kitchen and I knew that they were heading out back home to Monument Valley, so I dosed off again. Grandma came into my room and sat beside me on the bed and I would say I was 18 or 19 yrs old at the time, she was gently brushing my hair with her fingers. So then I awoke to her talking in Navajo to me and she smiled at me in a loving kind way. I sat up from my sleep to hold on to her and told her that I loved her, I can still remember the way she smelled, I remember the gentleness of her hands, these things I will always keep in my heart. The smile that was so beautiful that you can not ever forget, I guess she told me that I needed to go back to sleep and she was on her way back home.

I would of given any thing to know and to communicate words to my nali's, they then headed on out back home. My grandpa on the other hand was not that way toward us, he had a sense of tough love attitude and I was a softy, I would sense that he was not happy with us. I mean I knew that he loved us, and I'm sure he wished for more Navajo for us and I don't blame my parents for that barrier, I'd rather kick myself not wanting to learn than to blame my parents, cause you know I was able to learn and I could'a learned.

My grandpa Billy was popular with the Japanese and the Germans, they would always photograph him and visit him in Douglas Mesa where he resided most of the time. Today you can see him on post cards and he is in videos that show his ceremonial practices, he is probably one of the last genuine medicine men of our time. I really don't think that there is the real thing on the reservation, maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'm just saying this because he was my grandfather. All I know is that when I talk to others that have a problem it seems that they have to put more money in the ceremony that they want to have done, then there was my nali not selfish to help others out and is sincere in what he is doing.

My nali was an avid builder of hogans, he took much pride and patience in his building work, that was a dying art that he took with him. There are marks of hogans that he had built, they are in Castle Valley, UT tucked away against the red rocks of Castle Valley. I haven't took the time to go back and see the hogan again, he created friendships with those that were interested in the healing herbs. I know that Billy left wonderful impressions on people that he met, in turn my family were invited to events of the ones that befriended my nali. I remember that we were invited to a wedding and it was something at a young age that I had never witnessed in my life. New Age people that practiced the Native American Indian ceremonial way, it was interesting to see these people imbrace the way of the Native American Indian People. They were just happy and peaceful in the ceremony, I have to admit that I was proud to be who I was even though I didn't practice the way. It made me look at my nali differnt that he was somebody, he did leave his mark on many and did so many things in his life. I'm happy that before he passed that he did live life to the fullest and enjoyed every minute of it.

My grandfather passed away September 15, 2003 with his kids and family beside him, his age was unknown at the time of his passing. I'm pretty sure he could had lived a bit longer in his life to see more of his great grand kids, maybe another 2-3 yrs more he had it in him. I know that he cherished life and appreciated it more than many at the time, he was faithful to pray daily and to do his singing to heart. All that he practiced and did was not for show but from the heart of who he was. Even though my dad raised us with Jesus being our Savior my dad loved his dad and taught us to respect him and his ways. My dad taught us respect others even though you don't understand them, just love them like Jesus loves us, because He loves those that don't believe or don't care for Him. I kept that understanding in my heart for my nali.

4th of July!

Happy Fourth of July knitting friends, I am just drinking a good cup of coffee and relaxing, the last two days have been kind'a stressful. I'm try'n to keep my ever heavy head up, working on a purse that looks cute I was going to make it with a flower material in the lining, but it won't look good that way. So I decided to do the denim again, the next purse is going to have the flower pattern. I do have to get some more of the heather yarn, I am running out of the yarn that I have come to love so much. I found some online and intend to purchase it and use it for my knitting projects. They come in a array of colors that are warm and so delightful, then I was needing to make more jewelry to put on the website. So much to do and so little time, doing all in ones list.

This is the project that I have been working on, still working on finishing the strap of the purse and the final interior lining. I always get excited of the outcome of the final tasks, I am excited for this purse I just hope who ever purchase it will be happy with it.

Today we are going to have the Fourth of July here in Kayenta, AZ and grill some burgers and hot dogs. Good old fashion grilling, then later tonight the town is suppose to hold a huge fireworks display, this is going to be the first for all of us to spend the holiday here on the reservation. I'm excited for the kids and all of us to have this small family get together. I know that it's special for me, my son usually spends the fourth with his dad, every summer. This is the first for both of us to spend the fourth with our family, with divorce it is the one thing I really don't like, is on special holidays you don't have your kids at that time. But this is the way divorce is for some people, that is unfortunate but my ex-husband and I get along now. This was done for the sake of my son and it works out, besides we were together for many years and that accounts to hold friendships. I only hope the best for the father and his little family too! There are times that I feel different about the hope part and that is expected in any relationship, this happens when the ex is act'n like a horses butt toward you, then of course it changes. Only for a moment and we call each other back and apologize to one other, but that's seldom we get mad at toward each other.

Plans, plans do we really have enough time to do things? "Of course we do", I know that I can read a book, that is my latest past time that I put on my agenda of things to do each day. It has been nice to pick a book up and escape. Not only that but to inform your mind on each word and phrase that you look at, also in the way that the author speaks to you. The book that I'm reading is the Bridges in Madison County, I know, it's a common small book but I love the romance in the tale of two older adults in the middle of nowhere. I mean I'm in the middle of nowhere in hot AZ on the reservation, I'd like to dream of a tall blue eyed, hazel is good too, kinda blonde guy wander around here and have a little romance with him. I am a sucker for blonde's they make me fall to my knees, had rendezvous with blondie's that's how I had my two beautiful miracles. So reading has enlightened me and so I've made a vow to try to read a book to open my mind. I have this crazy dream to be a writer, at least I'd like to write a book and get it published and have that handed down to generations to generations. If I can make a mark in this life I'd like it to be through words for my kids and their kids. That way they can have history in the family tree, my grandfather made his mark in our family tree, he was a well known medicine man that was wise in the herbal medicines.

That is a man that needs to be written about so I'll tell you more of this remarkable man that I call my grandpa, lived to be 104 or more, he had no birth certificate and many known of him when they were little but at the time he was older in age. Then when he had passed away, they were in their late 80's or more they'd say this, amazing and here in Kayenta there is a beautiful Navajo lady that is 106 yrs old and walks around as though she's in her 60's so sweet. I know my grandpa used his herbs and ways of cleansing the traditional way to heal his body, he was faithful in keeping his body in check. More on him later I'm gonna enjoy this wonderful holiday and write on him tomorrow when I have more time, gonna get breakfast going and finish my purse that I have to finish. Laters knitting peeps and friends.