Just let go

You know there are times you need to just let go of thoughts that dread your mind, need to unjam it some how, some way. I found that when you write it paper it seems to ease the pressure off your mind. For instance I am some what of a romantic, I hold a memory of a certain man in my life that I can't seem to get rid of. Especially when I knit or read in my quiet times, mostly the memory and fantasy comes around when I am driving, listening to music. Yes the fantasy part I am working on to not happen too much, when people fantasise too much it becomes a sickness. I don't want to be sick that way.

Much more is when I listen to the music that is so beautiful. Music such as Yanni, wonderful and beautiful music that takes you away, the memories surface and I have to stop myself to thinking of them . This entry is a different kind of story, I guess once in awhile you have to let your passion come through and go on again living life. For myself it is a way to release this, I guess you can say a love that still keeps me spell bound. So for myself it is a healing process, to one day this will go away. To make a way to really let go,that I can or I will go on, really go on.

It starts out this way in my own words, I usually write thoughts on paper and keep it for a rainy day, a day like today. I think I'm gonna reveal myself in a poetic way and see if it helps.

To my dearest one, one that I dream of, you're in my mind, my heart and in my soul. How can I just forget your love, your touch the way you haunt me day and night in my memories?

What can I do? Nothing, so I carry on in life with you in my mind tucked away. When will you surface? Of course everyday to every other day you do, then my mind carries away in the moments when we were together, "oh joy" and "unending rapture". Hopeless is the way I feel, I know we can never be together again, but only in memory can we be.

I can't go on with this life with you in me, in my memories, I need to break away. I cry out to God to take those memories and thoughts of you away, in this I ask daily. For Him to erase the times of passion I still hold dear to my heart, but I am afraid to let go. I am an abandoned ship wandering out at sea, with no captain to take me away, no life to hear cheers as we abound to land, non to hear the life that is so big.

Who am I? I am a prisoner with no pictures of you only in memory, I wonder how you are. But alas none compare to all that I have loved, there is none like you that loves the way you do. The gentleness in your eyes of beautiful blue, your lips, how they taste of warm mint in mine mouth. I keep those in my memory in tack, I am afraid to lose them, to forget, yet they torment me day and night.

You are my little secret treasure I keep in my heart and mind tucked away so no one can see, only does God sees what is in mine heart, mine heart of desire. I think too, that I shall keep you till the one day that I will die. My love keep well, be happy and know that you're my treasure, my undying treasure in mine heart.