Try'n to knit, read, blah

What a week to reflect on the things that need to be done, yesterday we went to Moab, UT for a brief visit. It was good I had wished that we had stayed a little longer, but I was there with my folks and they wanted to head back quick. We loaded up the swamp cooler and some other stuff that I wanted to take to the flea market, I wanted to take more but there was no room. It was a nice day when we got there and not that hot like the weather radar said it'd be. We got to the house that my parents and the family grew up in and it was fixed up good, my uncle is remodeling it for my parents so when the housing market is good then they can sell it.

When we got there the kids were anxious to get out of the truck and out and about, we went inside the house and opened all the doors cause it was a little warm in there. My son Payt who is 5 yrs. old, walked around the rooms and spotted a lizard that was a foot long in length and I'd say 1" in width, pretty big and fat for a lizard. Now a days they are bigger than when we were young'ns, it was fun my son went around the house just try'n to get a hold of the li'l booger all of the sudden he caught it, it was a cute thing, my son was so proud. He then took it outside and let it lose into it's environment, I'd say that was a kodak moment. We went back inside the house to chill and enjoy the warm air in Moab. Payt meanwhile caught a glimpse of another lizard in one of the rooms, looked about the same size, so this time I joined in on the fun to try to catch the little reptile. I was on my hands and knees trying to see the li'l booger and nab it, we got the lizard cornered and my son yelled out, "there it is mom! Catch it!" I leaned over and carefully grabbed it, trying not to squish the darling. He/she looked somewhat adorable, I am a lover of reptiles, I think they are just dolls, so cute! I held the lizard in my hand and felt the smooth scales that he/she had, it was soothing to endure the touch of the lizard. My son on the other hand wanted to hold the li'l booger and so I didn't get to enjoy my time with the little guy. My son was again so proud he took him/she outside and set him down to go live their life. He then again went inside to see if he could find another lizard, Payt was so cute! My parents told us that we had to wash our hands, so we both did, then off we went outside try'n to get the swamp cooler in the truck and me looking at my stuff that I left in the garage.

I have many memories that I've put in boxes and they just sit in Moab, UT in a box in my parents old home there in the garage. I have lots of stuff from when I was in high school and ones that were from my twenties and there sits my pictures from my first marriage. The wedding pics I can't really look at, do ya know what I mean? When you look back at the pictures of your wedding it's not real when you look at it, I look at the both of us we were not happy at all. I now look at it and say "it was a joke", how could I have just made him marry me when he didn't even want me? Stupid, but now it is fixed and I don't have to endure nothing that pertains to relationships at all, I can focus on my kids and the things that I love so much. I am not working hard to support family when all along it doesn't matter what you have as long as you have what you need in life. For me it is easy to make sure the bills are paid every month and that there is a little left over for the kids to take out and play. My focus is for them and I to do as much as we can together and have them look back and say, "we sure had fun with mom even though we hardly had any money, I don't know how she pulled it off to create memories." That is my intentions and hope that they give that love and time to their little ones when they grow up. I do hope the best for my kids that they are strong and ambitious, I pray that they focus on God only in life and that friends are rarely there. Sometimes you can not depend on a persons word on anything, but you can count on strongly on Gods Word. He states that heaven and earth may fade away, get destroyed, but My Words will never fade, be destroyed or taken away.

That is the hope for my kids that they put Him above even me on their list. Knitting has been put on the back burner a couple of days, but yesterday I went to the flea market. I went to the flea market in town to sell some stuff that I got from Moab. I really didn't do that well, there was many people there that they seemed to just wander. I sat there hoping that they would buy something or all that I had. There are days the outcome is good and there are days when it wasn't even worth try'n. But I have to keep try'n even though, I know that this business is slow right now and I'm not sure when it will pick up, all I have to do is pray and seek and wait upon the Lord for that something to hit off. I have lost sight of God just a glimpse into something else, it seems other things turn me away from the Lord and then I am SOL, excuse my language. In all that who we are, we are only human and can't be perfect but we try at least.

Can't do much now that it is now 4th of July, I have to finish this entry and go to the next events that was going the last day or so. So sorry and bare with me on some of the things that I do, this is how it is when I write in my journal not so organized. We all can't be perfect, so we will see in the next entry.